Friday, November 24, 2006

Mavs Game

I went to a Mavs game on Tuesday, and it was a lot of fun.

Instead of pulling out gimmicks and categorizing the things I saw in the Mavs game as "Good" or "Bad" or "Promising" or "Exciting," I'm just going to write down what I scribbled on my new favorite toy, a pocket-sized notepad that I carry around with me everywhere. So here it is.

I'm at the Mavs game with my brother who just had his wisdom teeth pulled the day before. He is stuffed full of more hydrocodeine than some girls who went to my high school. Let's just say he's staring straight ahead and needs to be reminded that we're in public.

The guy sitting next to me waits for his wife and two daughters to get something to eat so he can call his bookie and place 100 bucks on the Mavs -5. I'm thinking that it wasn't a bad bet because I think the Mavs should go undefeated at home against Eastern Conference teams.

The Mavs still warm up to "What You Know" by T.I. I don't think I have to say anything else because we all know how awesome that song and that rapper are.

We're sitting next to two punks who are Wizard fans but are wearing cowboy boots. That would be like me going to a Wizards/Mavs game in Washington but wearing a suit and taking everybody's money from under their noses.

I've got to say, my favorite part about Mavs games is the pre-game introductions where all those Mavs highlights are shown on the Jumbotron. Except this year, the team changed it up. They're now showing highlights for a lot of players before the lineups are announced. They had a driving lay-up by Maurice Ager. More on him later.

And of course the slightly modified rendition of "Eminence Front" by The Who is still used at the intro. Solid.

Other than the fact I got lower bowl seats for the game, I'm also excited to see Gilbert Arenas in person. He is one of my favorite non-Mavs in the league because of his eccentricism and kick-ass style of play, which is bizarre because I don't particularly like players from Arizona because Lute Olson is an asshole (I know from secondhand experience), and their fans are retarded (just thought I'd take a shot). Bottom Line, though, Gilbert should be at least fun to watch.

Jason Terry wishes everyone at the stadium a safe and happy Thanksgiving. Thanks, JET!

I've been working on my Ali G finger slap technique, and I got pretty decent at it. Unfortunately, no Mav can make a shot, so my hours of practice have been rendered worthless.

This game has all the makings of a classic shootout between Arenas and Dirk. Arenas has over 20 in the first half, and Dirk is 6 assists and a rebound away from a triple double. If a Mav could make a shot, this would be a blowout.

Holy Crap! A statistic just flashed across the Jumbotron that I don't believe. The Mavs have 14 offensive rebounds in the first half, and the game is tied!

I have given up on trying to catch t-shirts at sporting events because I know that I missed my chance at a Mavs/Kings game my senior year in high school. I jumped to my left to catch the shirt, but I was bounced backwards and into my Dad's lap by some lard-ass woman sitting next to me. She wasn't even moving, but her 300 pound frame was enough to send me down for the count, so to speak.

Dirk steps to his left. Shoots. Swish. Should I expect anything else?

Update on gambling man next to me. He is trying to get his little daughters to cheer hard for the Mavs. Every time the lead changes hands, this guy is happy, but we've all been in this guy's position before. He's looking for a 5 point win, so just taking the lead is worthless to him. Let's just say he's sweating balls.

I just sent a text message to my friend, Ryan, that said "I think my field goal percentage playing today was better than every Mav except Dirk." For those of you that haven't seen me perform in athletic events, that is a backhanded slap in the face. Yes, a double whammy.

Finally, Buckner comes in and starts shutting down Arenas. And when I mean shut down, I mean LL Cool J style. Arenas as gone cold.

Which subsequently happens as soon as the Mavs catch fire. Terry, Buckner, and Croshere are all hitting 3's from the corner. There is some really good ball movement, and the Wizards look genuinely surprised. I mean why wouldn't they. The Mavs are on their 4th game in 5 nights, and they are legitimiately pulling away in the 3rd quarter.

Gambling man is going wild. Wizard fans next to us are gone.

Austin Croshere just posterized Antawn Jamison on a driving dunk across the lane that reminded me of something I once saw out of Shawn Bradley. Sick nonetheless.

Devin Harris has really put it into another gear. Everytime he gets the ball, if he has a morsel of room on his defender, he will burn him to the basket. So I have a new rule on judging Harris' level of play. If he has a ton of turnovers, it's because he's forcing the ball into the lane. I would rather see him have a game like 4 pts. 2 assists 0 turnovers than 12 points 6 assists and 5 turnovers. The Mavs do have 2 point guards on the floor at all times.

Arenas now looks pissed because the Mavs kicked him to the curb, and his teammates haven't done a thing about it. Hence, Arenas' 5th foul.

This game is pretty much over with. 5 minutes left in the game, and Eddie Jordan pulled Arenas. Had I been watching Jordan at points during the game, I'm sure I would rip on him, but I didn't, so I'll just be fair.

Second Half Stats: Mavs: 56 Wizards: 29. Washington made 7 field goals in the second half. That's uncanny.

As for the Mavs, they attempted 98 shots, which is equally absurd.

107-80 win. Gambling man wins 100 bucks, though judging from his apathy toward putting money down I wouldn't be shocked if he were in for more than 100.

Solid win. I go home happy. My brother goes home doped up. We all win.

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